Great Expectations: A diet that doesn't rely on the expectation of a colon

hey, has anybody seen a missing colon?

How does my body differ from those with colons?

 I have a shortened small intestine which has been resectioned in a few different places and is attached to 8 inches of signmoid (the little bit of colon that is attached to the rectum). I have no large intestine aka large bowel aka colon. I like the word colon best. My dear friend, the writer and musician John Lavery, (who died in 2011 and I still miss him) after the removal of part of his colon, referred to it as a semi-colon. I stated that I am steadily losing all my punctuation, first my colon, then my period, and I think another dear friend said, “but you still have dash.” Nerdy writer moment brought to you by Eats, Shoots & Leaves by Lynne Truss.

 This is a very simplified explanation of how the digestive system works. Don’t hire me to do your colectomy, please. The large and small intestines make up the digestive system, which turns food into nutrients that go into the blood stream and the rest of the body.

 The small intestine absorbs water and nutrients and is made up of the duodenum, the jejunum and the ileum.  “The ileum is where most of the nutrients from your food are absorbed before emptying into the large intestine.” (University of Pittsburgh Medical Centre). I don’t have an ileum.

 From there the processed food moves into the colon or large intestine, which absorbs water and salts and transfers nutrients to the rest of the body, sheds waste and breaks down the undigested bits which are mostly fibre. I don’t have a colon with the exception of the sigmoid, 8 inches attached to the rectum. The sigmoid, which the surgeon realized was there only when he opened me up for the bowel resection surgery, is the reason why I went straight to reattachment from small intestine to rectum rather than having to have a J-Pouch, a small internal bag that is put in to collect waste while the stoma heals. A stoma is a bit of the small intestine that is brought out of the body to empty into an ileostomy or colostomy appliance. I used to call it my third eye.

 Without a colon, my digestive system works quicker. I have bowel movements between an hour to five hours after eating. When I had my small bowel follow through x-rays before my resection surgery, I had to drink a barium contrast solution that was white and glowing. I had to go to the bathroom after about 10 minutes and lost the entire thing. I was still early at learning how to handle my ileostomy bag and ending up emptying some of it on the nearby floor, which glowed white, like constellations in the night sky. A poetic image of pooping on the floor. Hell yeah.

 I have other fun stories about living with an ileostomy appliance, but I did say these posts wouldn’t be long. Oopsy. All I can say is that I’m grateful for that ileostomy appliance, which made it possible for me to heal. Without it, I wouldn’t have been able to survive. Back to my main point!

 As I’ve said, due to severe adhesions, I have bowel obstructions.

 In hospital as soon as I was able to eat solid food again, I was given a multi-vitamin and I take one daily. I don’t absorb salt and nutrients as effectively; I don’t really know how much I absorb now in the way of nutrients. My surgeon told me that my small intestine would adapt over time and act like a colon, but I don’t know to what degree. I do know that a high fibre diet which is always recommended for those with diabetes is not going to work for me. The challenge for my dietician is going to be to help me come up with a diet that does not depend on the expectation of a colon.