Skip to main content

don't let the sound of your own wheels drive you crazy

woman in pink outdoors. sunglasses. tree.
the pink lady takes the sun

after the breakdown, and with Charles’ help, I’ve done some thinking. I’ve been bending over backwards trying to solve this diabetes thing as if I somehow have the answers based on my internet research. I’ll do my best but I can’t do much until I’ve received the necessary guidance. I haven’t even been told or given support to monitor my blood sugar levels yet. I always take on all the responsibility for things myself and try to fix things or resolve them quickly. this is not a scenario where I can do that. I will read and I will avoid simple sugars as much as I can, I will do more fitness when I am capable. that’s the best I can do without guidance. so I’m going to stop beating myself up over my inadequacy at taking care of this.

 

today, I slept in and skipped my fitness class. I’ll do the recorded one tomorrow. instead I went for a long walk in the sun. this is what I needed. my fitness instructor, a charming United Church minister and former basketball player in his 70s always tells us to “make it your own workout.” I haven’t been taking this advice since the diabetes diagnosis. I’’ve been trying to fit myself into some impossible ideal boilerplate diet plan that doesn’t make sense for a woman with no colon.  the dietician already told me she would design a plan. so why am I trying to? am I a dietician? I am not. so I’ll stop trying to be one.

 

I’ve had great advice from dear friends. thank you to CP who told me that knowledge is power. and JB who said be patient and kind with myself. all of this helps. I will definitely reach out and ask for help and support to figure this stuff out. I hope I am finished trying to take it all on alone. that never works. no wonder I was getting upset.

 

deep breath. let’s take things slow and easy, act with love and care towards myself and others. that’s the plan. here's the Eagles, Take It Easy...


 


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Lace Up To End Diabetes - fundraiser for September, 2022

 I'm taking part in Diabetes Canada's Lace Up fundraising campaign to raise money to end diabetes and increase awareness and education about it. You can help by donating money here . This September, Diabetes Canada is inviting people across Canada to move together and Lace Up to End Diabetes. Challenge yourself or rally a team to Lace Up Your Way and raise funds that will help bring us one step closer to a cure. Diabetes or prediabetes affects in 1 in 3 people across Canada, and some will experience serious or even life-threatening complications. Insulin is not a cure. It’s the starting line, not the finish line for diabetes. Even with help from insulin, diabetes can still reduce a lifespan by 5-15 years. “Diabetes is successful at outrunning us all and with a new diagnosis every 3 minutes in Canada – it’s not slowing down,” says Laura Syron, President and CEO of Diabetes Canada. “We’re committed to improving the quality of life for those living with diabetes and through Lace U...
Post a Comment
Read more

ongoing dizzy tizzy

the 4g of Perindopril Erbumine blood pressure medication the doctor put me on was making me too dizzy to be able to take my daily walks without shortening them severely. the doctor halved the dosage a week ago and I’m still experiencing the dizziness when I walk and also in the shower. it’s very frustrating along with being petrifying because I’m terrified I’ll fall. I’ve tested both my blood pressure and blood sugar levels when I’ve felt like this and they haven’t been out of range. I’ve tried taking the meds before breakfast and before dinner. Still dizzy. I feel like my attempts to lower my A1C levels are being sabotaged. today I had a bit of a cry when I was sitting outside on a bench in the sun. I love walking and the weather is beautiful. I want to be outside and enjoy the day. Instead I’m home and feeling like I’m not doing everything I can to manage my diabetes. I told my darling husband who has been walking with me after work when he gets home, holding my hand. He will do ...
Post a Comment
Read more

Amanda-in-Motion

photo by Charles Earl   In January 2020, I began a fitness regime through Carleton University which had me attending the gym and the pool three times a week. This went wonderfully well until the pandemic came to Ottawa in March, and the gym had to close down. In June or so Carleton offered the Stretch and Strength class that I was doing on Zoom, which was completely foreign to me, but I joined again and attended as many times as I was capable of, when I wasn’t curled into an anxious ball about the pandemic.   Flash forward three years later and I’ve been pretty good about keeping to three times a week. I can even hold a plank for 50 seconds, which I would never have imagined in 2020 as being possible at all.   I haven’t been doing other physical activities much at all, unless you count sex with my husband and wanking (2-3 times a day, dear Libido, really?). This diagnosis means I have to ensure I keep moving, so I’ve embarked upon Project Amanda-in-Motion. I have to m...
Post a Comment
Read more