don't let the sound of your own wheels drive you crazy

the pink lady takes the sun

after the breakdown, and with Charles’ help, I’ve done some thinking. I’ve been bending over backwards trying to solve this diabetes thing as if I somehow have the answers based on my internet research. I’ll do my best but I can’t do much until I’ve received the necessary guidance. I haven’t even been told or given support to monitor my blood sugar levels yet. I always take on all the responsibility for things myself and try to fix things or resolve them quickly. this is not a scenario where I can do that. I will read and I will avoid simple sugars as much as I can, I will do more fitness when I am capable. that’s the best I can do without guidance. so I’m going to stop beating myself up over my inadequacy at taking care of this.

 

today, I slept in and skipped my fitness class. I’ll do the recorded one tomorrow. instead I went for a long walk in the sun. this is what I needed. my fitness instructor, a charming United Church minister and former basketball player in his 70s always tells us to “make it your own workout.” I haven’t been taking this advice since the diabetes diagnosis. I’’ve been trying to fit myself into some impossible ideal boilerplate diet plan that doesn’t make sense for a woman with no colon.  the dietician already told me she would design a plan. so why am I trying to? am I a dietician? I am not. so I’ll stop trying to be one.

 

I’ve had great advice from dear friends. thank you to CP who told me that knowledge is power. and JB who said be patient and kind with myself. all of this helps. I will definitely reach out and ask for help and support to figure this stuff out. I hope I am finished trying to take it all on alone. that never works. no wonder I was getting upset.

 

deep breath. let’s take things slow and easy, act with love and care towards myself and others. that’s the plan. here's the Eagles, Take It Easy...