 |
| the pink lady takes the sun after the breakdown, and with Charles’ help, I’ve done some
thinking. I’ve been bending over backwards trying to solve this diabetes thing
as if I somehow have the answers based on my internet research. I’ll do my best
but I can’t do much until I’ve received the necessary guidance. I haven’t even
been told or given support to monitor my blood sugar levels yet. I always take
on all the responsibility for things myself and try to fix things or resolve
them quickly. this is not a scenario where I can do that. I will read and I will
avoid simple sugars as much as I can, I will do more fitness when I am capable.
that’s the best I can do without guidance. so I’m going to stop beating myself
up over my inadequacy at taking care of this. today, I slept in and skipped my fitness class. I’ll do
the recorded one tomorrow. instead I went for a long walk in the sun. this is
what I needed. my fitness instructor, a charming United Church minister and
former basketball player in his 70s always tells us to “make it your own
workout.” I haven’t been taking this advice since the diabetes diagnosis. I’’ve
been trying to fit myself into some impossible ideal boilerplate diet plan that
doesn’t make sense for a woman with no colon.
the dietician already told me she would design a plan. so why am I trying
to? am I a dietician? I am not. so I’ll stop trying to be one. I’ve had great advice from dear friends. thank you to CP
who told me that knowledge is power. and JB who said be patient and kind with myself.
all of this helps. I will definitely reach out and ask for help and support to
figure this stuff out. I hope I am finished trying to take it all on alone. that
never works. no wonder I was getting upset. deep breath. let’s take things slow and easy, act with love and care towards myself and others. that’s the plan. here's the Eagles, Take It Easy... |
I am one month away from my next A1C test. I am trying my best not to feel too hopeful that I will have a blood sugar level below 7.0, the target my doctor set for my not having to go on medication. I try to bear in mind what she said: that my 9.5 result in March means it is pretty likely I will require some assistance in the form of medication, but fuck oh fuck oh fuck, I do not want to have to take anything. My brief fling with blood pressure medication was awful. The unsteadiness I felt all the time prevented me from doing as much physical activity as I wanted/needed: not only to lower my A1C level, but also because it makes me feel better now to do a lot of physical activity. I am at the end of the extra FreeStyle Libre 2 sensors we purchased after I tried the Libre 1 and Libre 2 sensors for free. While the trial versions seemed great and taught me a lot about how to manage my diabetes, the purchased versions were awful. Compared with the One Touch glucose monitor, which requires...
Comments
Post a Comment